The Jew on the Ewe
The Jew on the Ewe
came riding from the dawn
On the Ewe, a thousand golden trinkets
On the Jew, a thousand golden bracelets
Along the road the Ewe went its way
Along the road the Jew made his way
And out of nowhere there he was
Hans Fishbachau Zur Hapsberg
The little boy from the Alps
With his little Swiss cow, Bertha
He went along the road with his cow mooing
The little boy moaning with a upset stomach
The Jew on the Ewe said "Alo"
The little boy repsonded Halo!
The Jew on the Ewe said
"little boy your stomach hurts so much"
"how can you keep that cow going"
"with your stomach moaning on"
The little boy said,
"This cow is the pride of my family"
"The prize of my village"
"This cow is the life savings of my village"
The Jew on the Ewe said,
"That cant be!"
"How can a cow be worth so much!"
The boy on the road responded,
"This cow is of the elite herd of the Hapsbergs"
"His milk is part golden and shines in the sun"
The Jew on the Ewe, his eyes twitching,
His nose sneezing
His hands sleazy
He said,
"My boy, how can you have so much value"
"On something that lives only so long"?
"Let me insure it, I will make a life policy on your cow"
The boy on the road said,
"How can you make such a deal"
The Jew on the Ewe said,
"I will insure your cow, when he dies I will pay you his value"
"In the mean time, I will milk his gold, and use it for investments"
"Unorthodox it may be, but then again my father was not a Cohen he be"
The boy on the road stood for a minute.
"How will I pay you"
"I will take the cow to Hanover, and I will milk him there"
"I will pay for his feed"
The boy foolishly agreed.
He learned that the Jew on the Ewe
Had sold the milk, took out his own policy on the cow
from his Synagogue
and slaughtered the cow and sold it for kashrut
When the family made a claim, they said
"your claim is not valid, the cow died outside its reich"
"therefore we don't have to pay you"
Years went by,
and so they went
Many years latter,
the young boy had become a man
a manly man
and he found himself in a black uniform
made of the finest material by Hugo Boss
with a skull on his cap
and at the camp he heard,
"OY VAY OY VAY, ITS YOU BOY"
He looked and there was the Jew on the Ewe,
Just he had no ewe he was sitting on,
only dusty old clothes sitting on him,
skin and bone
He said,
"Boy help me and I will make you rich,
I remember you from before, you are smart"
The boy said,
"I was fooled once, my village and family lost
a lot of money during the war,
what you had done made it far more worst"
The Jew on the Ewe said,
"Alas boy, forget the past, I didn't wrong you
your cow was outside its reich, insurance companies
don't pay outside the their reich"
The boy responded,
"You are outside your reich,
this government doesn't help out those
that don't belong in this reich"
The Jew on the Ewe cried out,
"Damn your soul boy"
The boy said,
"You curse yourself, and your soul
will be winters snow in one hour"
The boy returned home a war hero,
and no one every heard from the Jew on the Ewe
ever again!
The end!
