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Does Anyone Know How To Dispose Of A Body Without Arousing Suspicion? It's For A Friend.

dispose body innocent

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#21 Panis

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Posted 13 August 2013 - 10:36 PM

I'm sure the Romanian gypsies would eat it or practice voodoo with the bones.


"Friendships will last longer than this game ever will" -Dr Hugh Jardon


#22 nicholas2000

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Posted 14 August 2013 - 12:35 AM

What a coincidence, I have just what you need!

 

giggles heartily
 
Hi there, I'm Bob Ross, and I'd like to welcome you, to the 17th Joy of Corpse Disposal series. First of all, we'd like to thank you for supporting another season of Corpse Disposal shows, it really means a lot to us. If you've got the time, I recommend you kick back, grab a glass of iced tea and your rocking chair, and prepare for a relaxing half hour of the Dead Body Dispersion of nature's masterpieces.
 
Alright, you're gonna see all the tools you'll need at the bottom of your screen, and I'm just gonna jump right in here. I'm gonna get my gloves on and start pouring this Phthalo Blue Hydroflouric Acid into the tub here. Make sure its a pre-stretched plastic tub, we don't want the acid eating through this little guy.
 
Mmmkay, so begin by splashing the acid over the body in criss-cross strokes, and be sure to leave some areas darker than others, we want to give the corrosion a good wide range. Feel free to go ahead and throw in any incriminating evidence as well, you know, guns, knives, clothes, whatever you feel the police would use to incriminate ya later chuckles.
 
Okay, now that the plastic tub is all full, I'm gonna go ahead and wash the blood off of my gloves, and heck if you've seen the show before, you know ol' Bob loves cleaning the gore off his equipment. You'll want to dip it into the bleach, shake it off into the tub, and...
 
Dababababababa
 
Chuckling heartily Heh heh just beat the devil out of 'em. My crew gets mad at me when I get gore all over them, so don't do this in your living room, or you might have someone mad at ya. ;)
 
Now, what you wanna do is wait for this to dissolve, so while thats going on let me show you what I've got going on over here. I'm working with a metal barrel, typical of what you would see in your local hardware store, with a latchable top to seal in contents airtight. Theres a barcode identifier on here, so what you'll want to do is, is just mark over it with a permanent marker. whispers There. Give it just some tiny little circle motions...sings gently tiny little circles, tiny lilttle circles.
 
Now while we wait a couple more minutes for the flesh to be a liquidy paste and the bones to mostly dissolve into a goopy bloody substance, let me show you my squirrel, Peapod. We call him Peapod the pocket squirrel, there he is. Look how cute. We got him a while back and he's almost fully grown now...there he is scampering up my leg there. We do not keep these animals as pets, we take care of them, then let them be free, because they are wild animals, and God intended them to be wild. Hey, theres Squirly-Girlie, Janet the bird lady got her for us, shes been returned to the wild by now, and hopefully she has a nice family and they just sit out and enjoy some nuts and a sunset whenever they can. So gorgeous, so so so gorgeous...I love nature, nature is one of my favorite things in the world, and that's why I do nature work. Do what makes ya happy. As long as you do what makes you happy, and you don't hurt others, why...that's just beautiful.
 
Okay the corpse is fully liquified now so theres no chance of them old po-po's tracing you to the crime. Go ahead and grab a happy little funnel there and a suction hose. Make sure not to get any on your hands, cause..ooh, ouch, boy that'll hurt ya.
Transfer the liquid corpse gore-goop into this metal barrel, this rascal, and once the tub is empty, just plop down that happy little lid there and lock it down tight. It looks like I've got a few minutes left here, but, hey what the heck, lets throw in a little alibi here. Say you were with me, Bob Ross, at the place and time displayed on the screen, and when the police come a knockin on ol' Bob's door, I'll just corroborate your story. We're all artists here, and we have to stick together. We don't want eachother going to jail, no, we want to be free, just floating out, doin whatever, like a fluffy cloud. And, like a cloud, every now and again you may get a storm brewing up inside and take it out on a chump, but hey, that's why were here, to clean up the mess caused by your occasional fury. Don't ever call it a mistake, because, as you know, there are no mistakes, we have "Happy Accidents".
 
Well, that'll about do it, my producer Ann will get mad at me if I go too long, mean ol' producer. No, I'm just joking, she is wonderful and does amazing things...I wouldn't be anything without my crew here. I'm just gonna sign the side of the barrel here...because they haven't found me yet, and what good is a cat and mouse game if you don't know who is who.
 
So, thank you for visiting again, I'd like to wish you a happy corpse disposal, and God bless my friend.
 
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Glorious Hypnotoad of Righteousness





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